Dirty Dishes

There are six of us in our home, when Cory isn't gone. When he is gone, there are four kids to one me, three of which are able to dirty dishes themselves, or at least aid one another in dirtying them. They often pile up and at any given time a visitor will be witness to our dirty dishes in the sink. I also put off doing dishes until absolutely necessary because it is so repetitive and seems to be a revolving door of work.
I will tell you here, my in-laws have an incredible house keeper. She has come to our house several times over the past few years, during both pregnancies with the boys and for short periods afterwards. After her visits our house quickly reverts back to the chaotic disaster that I am coming to understand probably won't get much better for many years to come. I've got several kids and the house is messy. It's just the way it is and no amount of neurotic obsessing over it is going to change that fact. However, still when messes would begin to pile up and I would feel the tension in the back of my neck I would consider, much to my relief that 'tomorrow' Felicitas was coming to help.
I was thinking about this as I had a stack of dishes that I was making my way through earlier. On bottom were the silverware, the cups, the small bowls. On top were the cups and larger bowls used for mixing or popcorn. You get the point. I quickly washed and rinsed the larger bowls and set them out of the way to dry so I could get to the smaller ones in the water, at the bottom of the sink. I like getting the larger ones out of the way first because of the visual clutter. It helps me feel like I'm making progress. My silverware, I'll confess 9 out of 10 times has peanut butter or oat meal resting on it, which has usually hung out long enough to dry and get a little stubborn come wash time. Gross, I know. Surprisingly, I find myself time and again frustrated with the fact that the dishes become dirty, AGAIN. Now, it's silly of me to expect that just because I wash the dishes they won't become dirty again, in fact, the whole point of me cleaning them is so someone can eat or drink off of them.
I have been in such an odd, frustrating state for the past month and can find no logical explanation for the sudden change in attitude, mindset and spiritual climate. I rehearse conversations with God in my head, over and over again, often complaining and sharing my obvious confusion, frustration and desperation.
My emotional, spiritual, and psychological state has been much like my dirty dishes that pile up in our sink. I realized how so many times, the 'big' things that the Lord has dealt with in my life only cleared the way to get to the small things that needed to be cleaned with more care, more attention. Jesus has had to wash my dishes countless times. I find myself in dismay each time He has to wash them again, it seems as though when I am in a state that permits me to 'feed' or pour out I expect not to be dirtied again. I learn and re-learn that walking out my relationship with Him was not a one time commitment at an altar with a little prayer. I didn't just need Him to clean up my mess one time, but I need Him to clean up my mess every day, several messes several times a day. What Jesus did on the cross WAS a one time deal that completed all things in Himself. Does that mean I'll never need to be washed in His blood again? No, it means that I'm a mess, a sink full of dirty dishes over and over again and I can rest in the fact that my house keeper is on His way, never altering or faltering. Guaranteed that every time I open the door to Him He will come in and clean up the mess I am.