It occurs to me, my house is all too silent, as I look up from whatever it is I am doing, I notice all four of my kids are sitting on the coach with the television on, staring at their iPod touches. I am annoyed. "Ok," I say as I click the t.v. off, "everyone give me your iPod." Sighs, grunts, and even a fit later, I have collected all the technological nemeses in the house. I have resolved that while technology is very beneficial in many ways it has also become the antagonist of childhood. We just bought our daughters (8 and 9 years of age) a cell phone, I know, we are those parents. Hear me out, we have no house phone and have begun the rat race of extra-curricular activities, it will at times be necessary for me to get ahold of them and vice-versa. It will only have basic functions, texting and calling, and will be in my possession 90% of the time, with very invasive attention to how it is used and to whom they are talking to. No boys, limited conversation time and no over night usage. Now that I feel adequately justified in being one of those parents, I will say this, it's a constant conflict. We realize that being technologically in the know is just part of being raised in 2014, however, we don't want to raise those kids, after all, we survived just fine playing outside and waiting until the next day to communicate with our friends at school (face to face, I might add.)
I believe that as a society we have allowed it to impair us, not only as relational human beings, but especially as parents. We were not raised with the constant distraction of screens being shoved in our faces, the glorious convenience and very real danger of having the entire cyber world at our finger tips, and are, ourselves, so mesmerized by it we have grown ignorant and lazy when it comes to our babies and their devices. My two year old started coming up to me and pushing my arm, phone in hand, insisting, "Phone. Down." I thought it was amusing for a second until utter conviction flooded me. We teach our children what is important. Why do our 18 month old children know how, to our amazement. unlock our iPhone and flip through our myriad of apps to locate their's? Why do they sit silent and entertained staring at shows, playing games, and giving us a moment of peace? "Well, they're learning!", we say. It IS, indeed incredible how quickly these little sponges of curiosity mimic and repeat for themselves our behavior. They ARE learning, but what, exactly are they learning, and at what cost? The art of losing yourself in hours of outside, imaginative play is a dying one. It's too hot, it's too cold, they need a drink, they want to take a break?? Really!? Take a break from playing? We have singlehandedly raised a generation of convenience and comfort gluttons.
I can't tell you how many conversations I've had on Facebook with people I never see in person. While it's nice at times to connect with social media, I've watched it become an ever increasing outlet for validation seeking, drama, cruelty, humiliation and not only escaping, but denying reality. I find myself, at times, while watching t.v., laying in bed, playing with the kids, running errands or in the car almost subconsciously, habitually checking my phone- Facebook, email, those little numbers that pop up on your apps, etc. etc., you name it. We have forgotten how to rest, how to be in the moment that we are in. We have forgotten how to have verbal conversations and relate to people who are right in front of us. Any given time a room full of us are together, I can't even count how many times we are half-heartedly nodding at the person in front of us while staring at our phones. It isn't even socially frowned upon any more to make a few minutes worth of eye contact during a visit and cut a person off to text someone else. How often do we put our phones down and connect with the cashier at the grocery store? Seriously, it's gotten out of hand.
Rather than calling people we haven't seen in months, maybe even years, to invite them over to catch up, it's become the cultural norm for all of us to have a degree in on-line stalking. How creepy. My ten year high school reunion was in October and none of us even had to fill one another in on our lives, we all knew each other's business like we were neighbors. Somewhere along the way, innocently and unintentionally I'm sure, in the frenzy of posting photos every five seconds of our lives and everyone in them we have lost the value of moments that are significant, private, shared only with the few people who happen to be present and capture it themselves. Things have become less personal. Sadly, at times for a good laugh, we exploit our children, our spouses, even the overweight person in front of us in a grocery line. We not only cease the moment to bully our loved ones, but perfect strangers, as well. The sarcasm and satire all of us can relate to has no filter on social media sites. Our abuse and careless engagement of technology has created generations of irresponsible cowards, in my opinion. An entire society that doesn't understand the cost of our actions, our words, and the way they affect other people. We've also given license for anyone, any where to say anything about anyone. The lack of reverence and respect for people in general, for our elders, for children, for spouses, for our places of employment is disheartening at the least. Social media has also done some wonderful things, kept me in touch with wonderful people, allowed me a place to support and encourage others and talk with people that offer me the same encouragement, but I see it as being more of a distraction than a benefit. If anyone of the people I speak with or maybe even haven't spoken to yet, would like to be friends... in real life, please never hesitate to reach out to me.
